Wednesday, February 8, 2017

How to Move Forward After a Traumatic Relationship or Event

It’s been a couple weeks. The first week my life felt sucked from my chest. Antisocial. Anxious. These emotions seem new all over again as soon as the person you communicate with nearly every day, you see almost weekly, disappears. Subtract the reason for the separation. Realizing the person, you made your world, has been pulled from beneath your feet. A maddening, downward spiral.

It’s only temporary.” A chant repeated in my head to help speed recovery. My Colonel from High School introduced this concept to me. This will all blow over, hopefully soon. I’ve had enough experience on this end it should be second nature to flip back around, but not with one key ingredient. Love.

No matter how hard you try to light everything on fire, cry your eyes out until the swelling keeps them shut, love will continue to hurt until one day, you realize, you have forgotten to love said person. How long that takes depends on the person, relationship, and stance

"I don’t need you, I want you." I invented this for myself years ago, after falling in love with a boy whom also broke my heart. If it wasn’t for this statement and other factors, I would probably be baker-acted for lack of self-control. Lack of self-esteem and confidence.

How to move forward starting now:
I wish there was a black and white answer book that could just solve this instantly, but maybe these suggestions may help.
·      Pick a playlist and hit the repeat button until your ears start vomiting.

o   My personal playlist:




§  Halsey – pick one

§  Alt-J – Breezeblocks – it sounds different now that I’m separated

·       Find your own gender – You’re vulnerable. Don’t go looking for the wrong attention, unless you have strictly platonic friends.

·       Pamper yourself – get a pedicure, get your hair done, get your eyebrows waxed or your hooha, if that’s what you’re into.

·       Write – find a book and write. EVERY. DAY. I failed to do this until two weeks after. I should have done it the night of and continued. I would have been able to talk myself out of feeling bad a long time ago.

·       Go for a walk. Even in your pajamas. To the backyard. Get some light. Being a hermit doesn’t help even though it’s temporarily satisfying.

·       Garden – you will learn consistency and learn something new, which takes your mind slightly off the subject matter.

·       Pet therapy – find an animal friendly place. Animals are generally happy to see you more than humans.

·       Delete. EVERYTHING. Sure, you’ll have your second guesses. If you do, save some things, but lock it away to avoid reminders. They’re unnecessary triggers. Block them on social media, through the phone, and email. If they were truly sorry, they would find a creative way to show it. If you have items, but not enough strength to get to the post office let alone brushing your hair, gather the objects and place them in a box and put it away for now.

·       Remember things differently. This is a mind trick used especially for traumatic events. Instead of remembering events and personal connections, recall objects and imagine them a different color, or something different entirely. This will train the mind to not act as harshly to whatever environment you find yourself in.

o   Personal Experience – Terra Fermata – Some fond memories. Instead of remembering being with that person, imagine the memory with people from the current view in that memory or change the person to your best friend. It takes a strong mind to master this. I also stared at new objects and formed different memories associated with numbers. Counted how many tables were crammed in a tiny area. How much electricity was used to run certain things. How many people were in front of me. Trying something with a terrible taste. You might not have the energy to move or think, but your eyes can see shapes and color.

·        Just be. Live in the current state of mind. Don’t dwell on what could have been, what should have been. This is the most destructive. Someone, even a platonic friend, is waiting for you to call them to make awesome new memories with you. Even if it’s your golden retriever.

·        Stop thinking about what you can’t have anymore. Start writing down what you can have!

·       Don’t be a victim. They win. Plain and simple. Pick up the pieces, dust yourself off and start working towards your next goal, even if it’s talking about it for weeks.

Please leave a comment if this article helped you or helped someone you know or just want to leave some love!


Note, these pictures below are part of being human. The ugly side to becoming stronger. <3

Friday, February 3, 2017

Poshmark Review - Closet Listing Feed

Update 05-24-2017: Scroll Down

Poshmark is a trending fashion website that allows you to resell your clothes through "closets." I stumbled across this company from various friends that have had experience with the site and thought I'd get rid of some excess clothing too.

Poshmark is implementing a newer concept by solely using the app to create listings. After about an hour of searching why I couldn't list anything from my computer, I finally made the connection at the bottom of their site, "BUY AND SELL ON APP." I was really counting on those extra precious youth minutes POSHMARK!

https://poshmark.com/what_is_poshmark


Creating your account. As soon as you create your account, you're set up with ~40ish people that you're following and I believe 2 followers, but those increase rapidly over your first day. Your phone will become inundated with updates. It's only been 3 days and I have 173 followers and counting and I'm sure you can imagine how often my phone lights up. It feels rewarding knowing there's people out there knowing you exist, but I have yet to make a sale.

Setting up your profile. Definitely edit your profile at the top, but don't forget a listing of yourself was also created for you by Poshmark. Edit this too and add more pictures of yourself to show how human you really are. However, you can only edit the listing of yourself through the app. You are unable to do so via laptop, unless there's a secret I don't know about.

Your first listing. If you're unsure of the process, list your items high and back them down once you get the hang of it. You can always go back and edit them later, which will benefit you anyways as your items move back up the chain. Be descriptive and take as many pictures as possible to reassure the interested buyer of what they're purchasing. Since Poshmark doesn't allow for refunds, I'm sure this tightens up the reigns for purchasers.

Also, when pricing your product, play with the numbers for your pocket income. The amount of profit you make will change as the price of your product increases. My best guess is that they charge a percentage to calculate their stake.

Sharing is caring. Every now and then, you'll receive notifications that your items were shared. Do the same for others! This helps both parties having their products exposed to the world. This leads me to the next topic, Posh Parties. I've only been to one and had no idea what I was doing. Supposedly this also helps expose others to your products. They have themes and times. Both will be located under the main feed. As time goes on, I'll update this section accordingly.

Make the sale. As you've read earlier, I have no experience on this subject as I'm only day 3 into the social experiment. However, when you do make a sale, Poshmark will provide you with a pre-paid, pre-addressed label, and you don't even have to leave your hermit of a home! How awesome is that!

Still unsure of this new service? Check out my "Closet" below! Make sure to add me too!


Closet Items






Update: 05-24-2017
It's been since February, and I haven't sold anything. Granted, I only had about 6 items in my closet. I'm not entirely sure what I expected of this service. If anything, I've gained exposure from it, so there's a plus. As for making a profit, I believe I'm going to have to resort to Plato's Closet for a quick buck. The money might be less, but I don't have to worry about items being in my possession, especially while being on the road. However, I think I will definitely use Poshmark to show dresses I acquire in the future!